


Scar Tissue

by Torchiclove



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Allura likes metaphors and so do I, Blood mention but only metaphorically, Drabble, F/F, Fluff, Kimallura, Pre-ep 77, Rekindled Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 02:26:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8950213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Torchiclove/pseuds/Torchiclove
Summary: Allura's reassessing her past decisions after the dragons attack, especially regarding a paladin that she could never let go of.





	

It was the dragons that put everything into perspective for Allura. Nothing had ever loomed as large as Thordak-even Thordak. The fight against him before was nothing like it would be now, and yet everything seemed to be reverting to what it had been back then.

She’d never seen Kima so happy as when they were reunited. When she returned to Whitestone, the halfling was waiting for her with eager arms. She thought about her inability to resist that smile, the determined glimmer in her eyes, and she fell all over again.

All the old feelings opened up like a fresh wound. She thought about the years ago when she had broken off their relationship, and the way Kima looked at her with quiet understanding. “I have responsibilities,” she had said, “and I know you do too.”

It was over like that, though they remained friends-even if they didn't see each other as much as either would have liked, even if things changed. Allura was too responsible to muddy her life with a lover who lived across the sea. She couldn’t ask Kima to visit when there was work to be done in Vasselheim, and Allura couldn't leave Emon on a whim. They wouldn't be happy like that, she knew, and the city's safety was more important than her happiness. Her wounds would heal and, with time, it would be behind her.

Seeing Kima again after Vox Machina brought her back from the Underdark sparked the old flame. Many things did; Allura tended that fire well over the years. It was routine, not even an annoyance.  
The nostalgia was pleasant, even. It was like escaping into the past, awash with memories of something she couldn't have. The hollowness she felt in her chest didn't bother her, the old scar only pulsed with a dull ache.

Allura made an effort to keep a comfortable distance between them, to keep the scar from reopening, but Kima couldn't, or didn't want to. It made it a lot more difficult. Small gestures of lingering affection tore at her, threatened to make her heart bleed again. She was waiting the day Kima would reach into her chest and finally tear her heart right out.

And then there were dragons, there was Whitestone, and there was downtime. Kima and Allura were both staying in one place, the same place, finally. Old feelings never really went away. It was like their relationship had just paused, waiting for the time to spring back up.

Allura was careful, bordering on hesitant. She was fine seeing Kima, fine with old feelings blossoming in her chest, but she wasn't fine with the thought that she was hurting Kima. Responsibility had flown out the window when Emon fell. Kima knew, and Allura saw the longing that the paladin couldn't hide anymore. It tore her chest open, and Kima tore her heart right through. She decided she’d waited long enough.

 

\----------------

 

“How are you faring?” Allura asked. She needed some way to start a conversation, to shake off the awkward pleasantries that years of distance had imposed.

“The world’s gone to shit and I'm holed up here,” Kima grumbled. She watched Allura with intent eyes.

“You'd fight them yourself if you could,” Allura chuckled, sitting beside Kima and placing a cup of tea on the wooden table next to them. 

“You’re damn right I would! Why should Vox Machina have all the fun?” She crossed her arms, pouting like a child.

“You'll get your chance, I wouldn't worry. They'll need all the help they can get.” Allura chuckled; she hadn't changed a bit.

“At least this place is better than Vasselheim. Not any damn warmer, though,” she said. 

Allura sipped her tea, glancing at Kima through the corner of her eye. She was smiling, a crooked grin that chased away the cold of Whitestone like it was nothing. “I missed you.” 

She said it casually, lips upturned in a grin as her face was obscured by her cup. The words held the weight of things that had gone unsaid for years, if only one was looking for a deeper meaning.

“You too, Allie,” Kima said. She laughed, a short laugh of disbelief, and it brightened her expression, brought that irresistible warmth to her eyes. “I missed you too much.”

The nickname melted Allura’s heart, and her eyes softened as she set her cup down and looked at Kima, really studied her like she hadn't in a long time. “Everything’s gone mad,” she mused, making a vague hand gesture to indicate _all_ of it, the scope of the destruction that gripped their world. “What’re we gonna do?” 

“Keep going, I guess. Don't give up. We beat him once before, together.” Kima was becoming serious as she sensed Allura’s vulnerability. She placed her hand on Allura’s reassuringly.

“Old times never change,” Allura said, almost amused, her facade of calmness wearing thin. _She_ was wearing thin with the stress of her failure-failure to keep her city safe, failure to keep Thordak sealed away. She needed Kima’s unrelenting determination.

“Things are funny like that,” Allura murmured. She took Kima’s hand in her own and kissed her, soft and chaste. Kima felt familiar and safe, like nothing had changed. 

She expected to feel the old scar open, her messy heart bleeding itself out with emotion that had been contained for too long. The expected pain was replaced, instead, with warmth. She felt like melting instead of bleeding, her scar tissue turned to ice that was no match for Kima.

“Dear fucking Bahamut, I've missed you, Allie.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this real quick after episode 77 because this is kind of how the vision of their relationship unfolded in my mind, and then some headcanons were confirmed by Matt so I did a little editing and decided to post it. These girls kill me. Also, my first Critical Role work!


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